YOUR MARRIAGE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT:                                                                      

Every marriage is like a delicate garden that contains all the world's most beautiful seedlings, but has the propensity to breed thorns. Any marriage that is not consciously nurtured will soon switch into the decay mode. There are certain basics that I have learnt over the years as a married man that I think could become a vital resource to you as an intending couple or an already married person.

NO MARRIAGE CAN BE MORE HEALTHY THAN IT'S FOUNDATION - Where, when and how did you find or get to know your spouse? Who was involved in the connection process? What was the role of your pastor? Or who is the father figure whose words could be law in your marriage? What were the customary rites you performed and who spoke on the day of your traditional marriage?

THE BACKBONE OF EVERY MARRIAGE IS COMPROMISE - There are no irreconcilable differences, we only have spouses that are irreconcilably different. It is usually not about the issue but always about the individuals involved in the issue. If you do not let compromise become a major tenet of your marriage, the divorce court becomes your only option.

SPIRITS DON'T MARRY, ONLY HUMAN BEINGS DO - Flesh and blood are two basic components of errors but only the spirit is always right. So, in marriage most of the time, you will be in error. This is why the help of God should never be undermined. You will sometimes say foolish things, take stupid actions, think crazy thoughts. But your willingness to quickly forgive yourself and spouse and quickly move on will be your most beautiful strong point.

SELF DEFENCE IS THE BIGGEST SPOILER OF EVERY MARRIAGE - Self defence could be an effective military strategy in wars but a very bad stance in marriage. Are you to defend yourself or your marriage? Who is the enemy in the marriage? When you are always defending yourself, the marriage becomes the victim.

PROCESS TIME - Every person processes information differently. And who says your ideas are always right or should always be accepted? You must be willing to give your spouse time to process major information no matter it's urgency. You must get buy in even if it means waiting a little longer.

Bringing out the best in your spouse should be your life long commitment. Your spouse is a gift that must be treasured and not a thing that should be used